“Meri pehli therapy session ka sach. Jab maine pehli baar apne intrusive thoughts, anxiety, aur panic attack ke baare mein kisi ko khulkar bataya. Yeh meri healing journey ki shuruaat thi.”
Pehli Baar Kisi Ko Sab Kuch Bataya
Pehli baar jab maine therapist ke saamne apna dil khola, toh emotions ka tufaan tha — shame, trust, darr — sab kuch mix. Pehle private doctor se medicine le raha tha. Anxiety control mein thi, panic attacks ruk gaye the. Par unki fees zyada thi, toh socha ab main theek ho gaya hoon, medicine bandh kar deta hoon.
Kuch mahine baad, jaise hi medicine chhodi, dobara se panic attacks aane lage. Overthinking ne dimag pakad liya. Dobara doctor ke paas gaya, bataya ki pehle aapse dawa li thi aur kaafi theek tha, par ab dobara symptoms shuru ho gaye hain.
Doctor ne symptoms poochhe — heart attack ka darr, achanak se heartbeat fast hona, ghutan, negative thoughts. Main open nahi ho paya, wahan aur bhi patients baithe the, laga log mazak udaenge. Sirf itna hi bola ke “bas dimag mein ajeeb-ajeeb thoughts chal rahe hain.”
Dawa mil gayi, aur relief bhi mila. Par mann halka nahi ho raha tha. Mann kar raha tha kisi apne se baat karu. Maine cousin ko call kiya, plan banaya — darru piyenge, aur saari baat share kar lunga.
Sham ko bhai ke sath mama bhi aa gaye. Wahin baithak ho gayi. Jo baat karne gaya tha, vo reh gayi. Aur mann ke andar sab dab gaya. Overthinking aur badh gayi.https://khuljamind.com/anxiety-13/
Overthinking Har Jagah Saath Thi
Office, gym, road, ghar — har jagah laga log mujhe dekh kar hanste hain, mujhe judge karte hain. Laga mai pagal ho jaunga. Tab decide kiya, ab government hospital jaunga.
Wahan 4-5 junior doctors ke samne apni condition batayi. Sab kuch pehli baar kisi ke saamne clearly bola:
“Mujhe bachpan se hi darr lagta tha — gas, cooker, silencer, garam paani, aag. Cigarette dekh kar ulti jaisi feeling. Social gatherings mein uncomfortable. Exams mein extreme anxiety. Entrance exam mein bhi galat answer tick kar diye — bas darr ke kaaran.”
Papa ko heart attack aaya tha — uske baad se darr mann mein baith gaya. Gym ke ek bodybuilder ko bhi heart attack hua tha — wahi symptoms mujhe feel hone lage. Panic attack aaya, hospital gaya. Bas tab se din raat wahi thoughts — “Heart attack na ho jaye”, “Ab mai mar jaunga.”https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/OCDHindi.pdf
Dimag Ne Gandi Baatein Sochni Shuru Ki
Fir mind ne sexually intrusive thoughts dene shuru kiye — road pe ladki dekhte hi “isse sex karna hai”, “muh mein private part daal du”, “pados ki ladki ko touch kar du”. Ye thoughts mere control ke bahar the. Family ke liye bhi same thoughts — guilt, shame, helplessness. Laga mai pagal ho raha hoon.
Doctor se sab kuch share kiya. Vo bola:
“Jo tumhare mind mein aata hai, woh intrusive thoughts hain. Har kisi ko aate hain, par woh ignore kar lete hain. Tumhare case mein yeh loop ban gaya hai.”
Unhone kaha:
“Tumhara kaam ab kam ho gaya hai, dimaag zyada free hai — aur wahi overthinking ko aur strong bana raha hai.https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/
Doctor Ne Di Direction
Doctor ne kaha:
- Apne aap se mat ladho.
- Thoughts aayenge, par unhe importance mat do.
- Busy raho, routine banao, kaam mein focus karo.
- Exercise, meditation, aur limited screen time rakho.
- Medication se overthinking control hoti hai — aur dheere-dheere dose reduce kiya jaa sakta hai.
Unhone mujhe samjhaya ki:
“Tumhare negative thoughts ki wajah se mind ka pattern strong ho gaya hai. Par agar ignore karna seekh gaye, toh pattern tootega.”https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-stop-overthinking
Dawa, Routine Aur Relief
Main 1 saal tak dawa leta raha. Pehle din se relief mila, par kuch side effects bhi aaye — din bhar neend, mind slow. Doctor ne samjhaya:
“Yeh medicine tumhare overthinking ko block karti hai. Side effects temporary hain. Dose dheere-dheere kam karenge.”
Unhone mere liye ek routine banayi:
- 45 minute morning walk
- 20 minute meditation + breathing
- Kam se kam screen time
- Focused work
Main follow karta gaya. Dheere-dheere intrusive thoughts weak ho gaye. Mind ne ignore karna seekh liya.
Aakhir Mein Jo Zaroori Tha: Kisi Ko Sab Kuch Batana
Aaj jab main sochta hoon, toh sabse bada healing point yeh tha — kisi ek insaan ko bina dar ke sab kuch bol dena.
Cousin, doston ya family se nahi keh paya. Laga vo judge karenge, mazak udayenge, peeth peeche burai karenge. Par jab doctor ne bina judge kiye sab kuch suna, toh laga:
“Haan yaar, koi toh hai jiske saamne main khul kar ro sakta hoon, bol sakta hoon, bina sharmaaye.”
Jab maine apne dil ke saare raaz uske samne rakhe, toh laga jaise dil se ek bada pathar uth gaya. Aaj agar main overthinking se baahar hoon, toh us therapist ki wajah se.
Conclusion
Therapy ka sach yeh hai —
Kabhi-kabhi humein sirf ek insaan chahiye hota hai jo bina judge kiye sun le.
Jab hum bolne lagte hain, hum heal karne lagte hain.
Aur jab hum heal karne lagte hain, zindagi waapas normal lagne lagti hai.
Agar aap bhi overthinking, anxiety, ya intrusive thoughts se guzarte ho, toh darna mat — kisi ek sahi insaan se baat karo. Shayad wahi baat aapko wapas jeene ka jazba de de.
Agar aapko yeh blog pasand aaya, toh Instagram pe @khuljamind par zaroor follow karein — jahan main anxiety, overthinking aur mental health ke real experiences share karta hoon.https://khuljamind.com/anxiety-8/