Jab Mind Free Hota Hai…
Aapne bhi dekha hoga, jab aapki life se anxiety kam hone lagti hai, toh aapka mind ek dum free feel karta hai. Aapko lagta hai poora din khatam hi nahi ho raha, kyunki ab aap faltu ki cheezein nahi soch rahe hote. Aap bas apne kaam par dhyaan de rahe hote hain.
Agar aap busy ho, toh yeh bahut achhi baat hai. Aap apna kaam poore dil se kar rahe ho — chahe 9 se 5 ki duty ho, ya uske baad bhi aap kuch na kuch kaam dhoond kar apne mind ko busy rakhte ho. Is wajah se aapke paas negative thoughts ke liye time hi nahi bachta.https://khuljamind.com/anxiety-11/
Jab Mind Zyada Free Ho Jaata Hai…
Lekin jab aap free ho jaate ho, toh yeh busy rehna kam hone lagta hai. Pehle mere saath bhi yahi hota tha — jab main khali hota tha, toh time ka pata hi nahi chalta tha. Khana bhi waqt pe nahi milta tha. Lekin mind ke paas itna space hota tha ki woh negative thinking mein chala jaata.
Jab maine job change ki, toh main poora din free rehne laga. Starting mein maza aata tha — ki chalo yaar, job se free ho, ghar bhi chala jaata tha. Lekin dheere-dheere lagne laga ke yeh din khatam hi nahi hota.https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/overthinking
Growth Ka Sochna Aur Reality Check
Shuruaat mein laga ke chalo achhi baat hai, main apni growth ke liye kuch naya seekh sakta hoon, apni life ko aur better bana sakta hoon. Lekin yeh full-time free rehna ek point ke baad tang karne laga.
Aisa feel hone laga ke sab log mere hi baare mein baat karte hain, meri burai karte hain, mujhe judge karte hain. Jaise office mein mere juniors ka room mere aage tha — main jaata tha toh woh log chup ho jaate. Mujhe lagta ke mere upar hanse ja rahe hain.
Har Muskurahat Mein Shak
Kai baar main unse poochta, “Kya hua? Kyun hansa?”
Main jaan na chahta tha ki kya woh mere upar hanse. Agar unhone mujhe theek se jawab diya toh sab thik. Lekin agar unhone kuch nahi kaha, toh poora din dimag mein yahi chalta rehta — “Kya bola usne? Mazak uda raha tha kya?”
Yeh overthinking mujhe aur stress deti thi. Office bhoolna mushkil ho gaya tha. Mujhe lagta tha ke mujhe badla lena hai.
Misunderstanding Ka Loop
Lekin jab main unko thoda tang karta, ya unse kuch kehta, toh woh log respect se baat karte. Tab lagta tha shayad main hi galat samajh gaya tha. Misunderstanding ho gayi thi. Phir main normal ho jaata.
Lekin yeh cycle chalta hi rehta.
Senior agar bolte, “Mujhe kya fayda? Tu field ka kaam achha karta hai, lekin computer work main hi karta hoon,” toh main andar se udaas ho jaata.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/misunderstanding
Jab Efforts Ka Recognition Nahi Milta
Main 9 baje se kaam karta hoon, 5 baje chala jaata hoon. Mera dost supervisor hai, woh raat tak baitha rehta hai, computer ke kaam bhi karta hai.
Aur wohi saare kaam mujhe bhi karne padte hain. Toh fayda kya hua?
Fir socha, apne senior ko bata doon — ke jab sab kaam main hi karta hoon, toh kisse bheju kaam? Main kisi aur pe bharosa kaise karun?
Jab Appreciation Na Mile, Toh Complaint Ban Jaati Hai
Mujhe overtime ka paisa bhi nahi milta. Toh main sochta, har banda jo mere paas aata hai, uski complaint likhwa kar bhej doon — taaki kisi ko toh pata chale ke main kitna kaam karta hoon.
Lekin jab senior bolte, “Tu hi sab log mere paas bhej raha hai,” toh mujhe gussa aata.
Main kehta, “Pehle toh bolte ho main kaam nahi karta, ab bol rahe ho ke sabko main bhejta hoon. Decide toh karo main karta kya hoon!”
Jab Self-Worth Question Hone Lage
Main har din itne logon ko handle karta hoon. Site check karta hoon. Complaints dekhta hoon. 500 calls aate hain. Aur fir bhi senior bolte hain ke main kaam nahi karta?
Maine kaha, “Mera kaam site ka hai, agar aapko computer work chahiye toh doosra banda rakh lijiye. Mera duty 9 se 5 hai. Uske baad mujhe compare mat karo kisi se. Agar aapko mera kaam pasand nahi, toh transfer karwa do.”
Jab Reply Dena Zaroori Lagta Hai
Mujhe aisa lagta hai log meri burai kar rahe hain, aur jab tak main unko kuch bol na doon, tab tak chain nahi milta.
Lekin jab main bol deta hoon — tab shanti milti hai.
Job Chhutti Ki Ghalat Fehmi
Ek galat fehmi ki wajah se meri job chali gayi. Main site incharge tha aur hamara kaam government officers ke liye ghar ki renovation karwana tha. Jab koi naya government officer shift hota tha, toh renovation ka kaam hota tha. Lagbhag 3-4 mahine se kothi mein renovation chal raha tha, aur mujhe bas shift hona tha.
Madam ne bola ke drill karwa do, cylinder bharne ke liye jagah banani hai. Maine apne senior ko bataya ke drill, carpenter, drill machine aur bits ki zarurat hai. Lekin mere senior ne meri baat seriously nahi li, aur kehte rahe ke baaki kaam karwa lo, drill baad mein karwa denge.
Jab bhi main kothi mein kaam dekhne jata, log kehte ke drill wali baat abhi tak nahi hui. Maine senior ko baar-baar yaad dilaya, lekin woh ignore karte rahe. Madam ke shift hone ke waqt situation kharaab ho gayi aur mujhe bhool gaye.
Kothi mein mujhe kaha gaya ke itne dino se drill karwaane ko bola tha, abhi tak nahi hua. Unhone likh kar dene ki dhamki bhi di. Maine dil se sorry feel kiya aur kaha, “Aaj karwa dete hain.” Unhone kaha, “Agar aaj nahi hui toh suspend karwa do.” PA ne bhi kaha ke itne dino se keh rahe ho, kar do.
Maine apne junior ko drill aur bits laane ko kaha aur phir thoda free hua. Approx 12 baje tak drill le aaye. Jab main office aaya, mujhe phone aaya: “Main tere baap ka naukar nahi, office aakar baat karta hoon.” Phir phone kat gaya. Dobara call kiya toh usne kaha, “Main tujse respect se baat kar raha hoon, tu badtameezi kyun kar raha hai?”
Main dukhi ho gaya. Pehle irritate tha, phir papa ke death ke baad jab usne mere papa ke baare mein kuch kaha, toh mujhe bahut gussa aaya. Office aaya toh maine us junior ko maara, aur yeh baat office mein phail gayi.
Police bulayi gayi, media aayi, advocate bhi. Medical bhi karwayi gayi. Mere senior mere saath the. Police station mein kam se kam 500 log ikatha ho gaye. Bahut kuch hua, lekin akhir mein compromise hua. Mujhe job se hatane ki baat ho rahi thi, par maine transfer karwa liya.
Ghar aakar relatives bhi office wali baatein jaanne lage aur meri burai karne lage. Office mein ladte the, gussa aata tha, senior ke paas bhi gaye, toh woh kehte, “Tu kyun ladta hai? Tension kyun leta hai? Tune haath kyun uthaya?”
Kisi ne meri nahi suni. Mujhe bahut pressure tha, mentally harassed feel karta tha, har jagah galiyan milti thi. Family ne mera saath nahi diya. Mera confidence bahut low ho gaya.
Naye Office Mein Feelings
Jab main naye office gaya, mujhe laga log mera mazak bana rahe hain, wo bhi indirectly. Maine socha ke ab naye office mein zyada baat nahi karni, zyada dosti nahi karni. Jab zarurat hogi tabhi saath milega, warna nahi.
Ek din ek colleague ne phone kiya. Maine thoda rude jawab diya. Thodi der baad laga ke maine zyada rude baat kar di. Socha senior ko chugli na lage. Senior ne bhi kaha ke main sabke saath aise baat karta hoon.
Main uske paas gaya, jahan ek aur ladka bhi tha. Maine phone kiya aur kaha, “Yaar, kaha ho? Jaldi aaja.” Wo aaya toh hum mazak kar rahe the. Maine poocha, “Tere muh utar gaye? Kya hua? Kya tere bhai ne kuch bola?”
Woh bola ke tere bhai ke saath problem ho gayi hai. Maine kaha ke chutti ke time tha, toh woh dono baat kar rahe the. Mujhe gussa aaya ki shayad mere upar hans rahe hain.
Phir main ghar chala gaya. Ghar jaate waqt bike mod di, socha jaake pata karunga log mere baare mein kya bol rahe hain. Jab wapas gaya toh woh dono alag baithe the.
Mujhe bechaini ho rahi thi, 30 minute tak bina wajah ghoomta raha. Aisa lag raha tha ke main pagal ho gaya hoon, itna bura lag raha tha.
Maine apne cousin ko phone kiya, jise bhi anxiety hai. Hum dono jab bhi problem hoti hai, ek doosre se baat karte hain. Maine bataya ke mujhe kitna chidra ho raha hai, dimag kharab ho raha hai.
Woh bola kabhi kabhi aise hota hai uske saath bhi. Maine kaha ke mujhe lagta hai main pagal ho jaunga, sir dard ho raha hai.
Phir socha milke baat karte hain. Usne kaha theek hai. Main ghar aaya, mood off tha.
Maine socha gym chala jata hoon. Gym gaya, workout kiya, lekin dimag mein wahi baatein chal rahi thi. Workout ke baad cousin ko call kiya. Woh pass mein tha, bola 30 minute mein aata hoon. Lekin phone nahi aaya, woh nahi aaya.
Main socha apne mind ko samjhata hoon. Tab pata chala ke na family, na dost, na cousin, koi mera saath nahi tha. Jo mera cousin milne gaya tha dimag thanda karne, uska call bhi nahi aaya. Jo baatein ki, woh sunana bhi nahi chahta tha shayad.
Log aaj kal jab apki baat sunte hain, toh fark nahi padta, ignore kar dete hain.
Conclusion
Zindagi mein kabhi kabhi aise mod aate hain jab hume lagta hai ke sab kuch humare khilaf ho raha hai — job ki chhutti, office mein misunderstandings, aur doston ya family ka saath na milna. Par yaad rakhiye, aap akela nahi hain. Har struggle ke baad ek nayi shuruaat hoti hai.
Aapke jazbaat samajhna aur unhe express karna bahut zaroori hai. Agar aap bhi aise challenges face kar rahe hain, toh apni feelings ko dabana nahi, balki kisi se baat karna shuru kariye. Mental health par khul ke baat karna hi healing ka pehla kadam hai.
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Aapka safar yahin se shuru hota hai — khulke baat karna, samajhna, aur apne aap ko importance dena.